


The way you said "I love you."

by BugontheRug



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Caught in the Rain, Jealous Daryl Dixon, Jealous Rick Grimes, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, domestic Daryl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2018-12-19 21:01:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11906142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BugontheRug/pseuds/BugontheRug
Summary: A collection of one-shots based off of a Tumblr prompt post.1. Daryl and Rick get caught in a storm surrounded by Walkers. Confessions ensue.2. Domestic Daryl overhears something he's not ready for.3. Daryl+Forest+His crush Rick=Confession????4. Back in the clearing, Rick and Daryl work through some issues5. An alternate version of what Rick is going through when Daryl is taken by Negan





	1. A Tin Tune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: As we huddled together, the storm raging outside

Daryl and Rick raced into the abandoned shed and quickly shoved the doors against the crowd of Walkers chasing them. A few rotting limbs pushed through the crack before Rick chopped them off and Daryl shut and secured the doors. A groan and the sound of a knife through a skull appeared behind Daryl, who turned and saw the lone Walker fall at Rick’s feet.

“It’s clear.” Rick said taking a seat on the ground farthest from the doors. Rick was a shadow in the dark shed and Daryl moved to join him, settling his crossbow on his lap. A flash of lightning illuminated the inside of the shed through the cracks in the wall boards allowing Daryl to see the water dripping from Rick’s curls into his eyes. 

“I say the worst thing about being caught in the rain is the feel of wet denim. It feels like my pants are a heavy second skin and I hate it.”

Daryl gave a grunt, not caring one way or another. A loud clap of thunder shook the shed around them, drowning out the groans of the Walkers.

“Doesn’t look like this storm is going to pass quickly.” Rick said, running his fingers through his curls to shake some rain off.

“Want to head back out there?”

“No, could barely see with all the rain in my eyes. We’d be Walker bait for sure.”

Daryl stretched out one of his legs and leaned back against the wall. He watched as Rick wrung water from his stretched out plaid.

They sat a few minutes in silence listening to the wind raging and the rain making a tune on the tin roof.

“You know, I love storms like this. Reminds you mother nature can be one helluva bitch.” He paused, hesitating on continuing. He heard his blood pounding in his ears as he gathered the courage to say, “Reminds me of you.”

“You think I’m a helluva bitch?” Rick asked, amused.

“Nah man, I mean...” Daryl, flustered, took a few seconds to compose his thoughts. 

Rick waited, watching as Daryl’s face scrunched with concentration. 

“What I mean is, you’re a good man, but when the situation calls for it, you can rage as well as any of these damn storms. And, like with a storm, once it’s over, you’ve made our home better, safer.” Daryl paused. “Nah, what I mean to say is storm are forces of nature you don’t want to mess with and I think you’re a force of nature, always looking out for us.” Daryl pause again. “Hell, forget it. It ain’t coming out right.” 

Daryl looked down to where his hands were fiddling with his crossbow. He felt heat rising up his neck and into his cheeks thinking that this is why he doesn’t try talking much, the words never come out right.

Rick waited a beat to make sure Daryl wasn’t going to say anything else, watching him getting lost in his thoughts. A small smile had been forming on his lips as he listened to Daryl, his heart beating a little quicker after his speech. He reached his hand to hold one of Daryl’s, bringing him back to the present. Daryl’s wary eyes snapped to his.

“I think I get what you mean.” It was Rick’s turn to pause, looking away. He felt this moment was fragile. It was a fork in the road for their relationship and he wanted to make sure it went the right way. He searched for the words that Daryl would understand, but wouldn’t scare him away. “What I love though is the silence after a storm before all the critters realize it’s over. It’s calm and helps me feel grounded.” He looked back up and saw Daryl looking at him, confusion on his face. Rick caught his eyes and continued, “I think that where ever there’s a storm, the silence always follows and you can’t have one without the other.” Rick held his gaze until he saw understanding dawning. Daryl blushed, giving a small cough and looking away to disguise it.

“Yeah, that sounds nice. Always together.”

They sat there in the shed surrounded by groaning Walkers, waiting out the storm raging outside, hand in hand with a new understanding between them.


	2. A Glass of Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: When the broken glass litters the floor

Daryl was rocking slowly with Judith lying on his chest, slowly rubbing circles on her back. Judith’s nursery was dark with a soft glow from a lamp on the dresser and light from the hallway.

“Ok, last story before bed and I mean it this time.” Daryl said as sternly as he could to the sleepy soft eyes looking up at him. He took a moment to think. The apocalypse was sorely lacking bed time books for Judith and even then Daryl didn’t think they quite fit in to the world they were living in. He preferred coming up with his own little stories for his Lil’ Asskicker.

“Once there was a little girl and an apple tree. The little girl was hungry and asked the apple tree if she could have some apples. The apple tree said ‘Why would I give you apples? You’ve done nothin’ to earn ‘em. If you want apples you’ve gotta learn to climb trees.’ So the little girl went out and climbed all the trees she could. She scrapped her hands on the bark and the branches scratched her face. She would fall out of ‘em, but she’d start climbing again, even with her sprained ankle and skinned knees. Soon she was climbing trees as if she was meant to live in ‘em. She went back to the apple tree and climbed its branches and took as many apples as she could. ‘You’ve takin’ all my apples! Why didn’t you leave any for me?’ the tree asked. ‘I’ve earned ‘em.’ says the little girl. And the little girl went home, climbed into bed, and slept the whole night.”

Daryl watched as Judith’s eyes fluttered shut during the last part of the story and waited until he heard her breath deepen in sleep. As he was laying her in her crib, he heard the door creak. Turning around, he saw Carl filling the doorway. Daryl put a finger to his lips and nodded over to Judith. Carl nodded and stepped back into the hallway, waiting for Daryl to finish. Daryl checked on Judith one more time before leaving, quietly shutting the door behind him.

“I don’t think I’ve heard that story before.” Carl said. 

Daryl rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, gotta start teaching her she can’t depend on people to give her stuff in this world.”

Carl gave him a smirk. “You know you’d go and find her apples if she ever asked you for them.” 

“That’s different. I won’t always be around.”

Carl’s face darkened, “Don’t say that. You aren’t going anywhere.”

“You’re right. No way your dad would survive without me.” Daryl chuckled. Carl gave a half-hearted laugh. Daryl put his hands on Carl’s shoulders and caught his eye. “Kid, you know I wouldn’t choose to be anywhere else. You’re my family.”

Carl gave him a tight hug that surprised him. “You’re my family too.” Daryl returned the hug and they stood like that for another little bit before breaking apart.

“Hey, it’s time for bed. You need anything?”

“I can get things myself Daryl.”

“I know, just let me feel useful kid.”

“A glass of water?”

“One water comin’ right up. You get on to bed now.”

Daryl went to the kitchen and started filling a cup with water from the tap. As he turned off the water he heard the front door open.

“I’m glad you came over Rick. The boys really enjoyed playing soccer with you. It’s nice to know Ron and Sam have a man like you to look up to. ” Daryl heard Jessie say as she made her way into the living room. Daryl moved to a spot they couldn’t see from the living room, either from habit or not wanting to interrupt he wasn’t sure.

“Maybe next time I can convince Carl to come. He could use some friends his around his own age again.” Rick said, guiding Jessie to the couch.

“Bring Judith, too!”

“Nah, Daryl’s got her on a strict night time schedule. Says it helps her sleep.” Rick felt the corners of his lips twitch as he remembered Daryl going on and on about Judith’s new bedtime routine as they made dinner together last night.

“Oh, well maybe another time. I’d love to get to know her.”

“Maybe.”

Jessie was subtlety shifting closer to Rick until she had her leg pressed against his. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear nervously and put a hand on Rick’s knee. 

“Actually, I was thinking since, you know, we’ve been spending a lot of time together and we both want our families to spend more time together maybe we could... move in together?” Jessie asked.

Daryl heard a large crash in the silence that followed and realized he dropped the glass of water he was holding. “Shit!” he said under his breath before bending down to pick up the pieces of glass scattered across the floor. 

Daryl was in shock. When did Rick start having feelings for Jessie? He knew they’ve been hanging out a lot, but he thought they were just friends. Maybe Daryl was just in denial about what was really going on. He knew he was in love with Rick, probably has been since they were on the road before finding the prison. He was never going to do anything about it, especially after what happened to Rick when he lost Lori. That’s probably what shocked Daryl the most. He didn’t think Rick would ever put him self in a position like that again. Guess he was wrong.

What happens now? Will Rick ask him to move out? If he does, could he still help with Judith or would Jessie take over for him? How often would he be able to see Rick and the kids if Rick was making a new family with Jessie and her sons? 

Was Daryl not enough? His heart was shattering like the glass hitting the floor as he realized he was losing the family he thought he was apart of.

“What was that?” Jessie exclaimed, worried.

Rick pulled out his gun and rushed into the kitchen thinking someone or something broke through the window. When he got there he saw Daryl absently picking up pieces of glass. He lowered his gun and started towards him. 

“Motherfucker!” Daryl exclaimed, getting cut by a piece of glass while his mind was elsewhere.

“Daryl. Daryl! Stop, stop!” Rick said, grabbing Daryl’s hands.

Daryl ripped his hands away before going back to pick up more pieces. “I got it Rick. Go back to your conversation with your lady friend.” 

“Daryl, come on. Take a seat. I’ll grab something for the cut.” Rick said, pulling and pushing Daryl until he was seated at the counter.

“Dad! Is everything ok?!” Carl said coming down the stairs. He stopped at the bottom and observed Daryl sitting, getting blood on the kitchen counter, his Dad with his hand on Daryl’s shoulder, and Jessie standing in the doorway looking at the glass scattered around the floor. 

“Everything’s fine, Carl. Go back to bed.” Rick said, motioning Carl back upstairs.

“I’ll get you a glass of water in a minute Carl. Let me clean this up first.” Carl nodded and headed upstairs. 

Rick watched Daryl with concern as he stared at his bloody hands, startling as Jessie put her hand on his shoulder.

“Do you want to finish what we were talking about, Rick?” Rick watched as Daryl’s shoulders tensed and curled into himself.

Rick stood, turning back to Jessie. “Sorry, Jessie, if I made it seem like I was interested in being more than just your friend. It was just nice to talk to someone else who has their own kids. I didn’t mean to lead you on. There’s already someone else who has my affections.”

Jessie glanced over to where Daryl was sitting. “I see. I’m sorry for assuming.” she said, backing towards the door, blush on her cheeks.

“I’d still like to be friends, especially since we’ll be living in the same community for some time.” Rick opened the door for her.

“Yea, sure. See you later Rick.” Rick closed the door behind her. Taking a deep breath, he turned and went back to the kitchen.

“Let me help.” Rick said, grabbing a broom and sweeping up the glass. 

He continued in silence until Daryl broke it by asking, “So who’s it? This person you’ve got affections for? You know Judith’s particular about who holds her.” 

Rick smiled. “I don’t think Judith will have any problems with them. She loves them already.”

“Michonne then?” Daryl’s shoulders were tensing more each second waiting for Rick to declare who’s going to be replacing Daryl in this little family. He stood up and made his way to the sink to clean his bleeding hand. Rick threw the glass away and followed.

“The person I love is currently bleeding all over my kitchen because he didn’t think to grab the broom.” Rick teased.

Daryl froze, hands under the stream of water washing the blood away. Rick came and stood beside him, gauze in hand. Daryl hadn’t realized Rick had left the room and wondered how long he’d been standing there in shock.

“Me? You love me?” Daryl asked, watching Rick wrap the gauze around his injured hand.

“Surprised you didn’t know. Carl’s being making fun of me for awhile now saying I’ve been making moon eyes at you every time you walk into a room.”

What Rick said was finally sinking in, filling Daryl with warmth and gluing his shattered heart together again. 

“I love you, too.” Daryl said shyly, glancing at where Rick was holding his hands, done with wrapping them. “So, what now?”

“Well nothing’s really changed, except moving your stuff into my room. Oh, and this.” Rick gently cupped Daryl’s face and pulled him in for a slow, soft kiss.

“I can handle those changes.” Daryl said, smiling what feels like a goofy grin at Rick. Rick gave him his own goofy smile. 

“Let’s get to bed.”

“I’m glad you _finally_ figured out you both love each other, but I still want my glass of water!” Carl yelled from the top of the stairs.

Rick and Daryl shared a look before laughing. Grabbing a glass of water, they headed upstairs, back to their little family.


	3. Finding Fungi with a Fun Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: To quick, mumbled into your scarf

The trees swayed in the wind, losing a few leaves after each gentle wave of the branches. Rick lifted his face up watching in awe as the forest orchestrated a ballet around him. The rustling of the leaves and the birds in the trees provided the music while burnt orange, golden yellow, and vibrant red leaves danced on the breeze; twirling, flipping, spinning, preforming acrobatics so complicated Cirque du Soleil would be jealous. 

Rick laughed, his amusement caught in a fog expressed from his lungs. He heard a click to his left. He turned and heard another click. There was Daryl with his camera obscuring his face.

“Hey man. You ready?” Rick asked, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. He took in Daryl’s knit cap, mittens, thick winter coat, and the most eye-catching scarf he’s ever seen. It was a bright yellow knitted scarf wrapped so many times around his neck it looked like a ball python squeezing the life out of him. “You a little cold?” Rick teased.

Daryl lowered his camera after another click capturing Rick’s small smirk. Between Daryl’s cap being pulled so low and his scarf covering up to his nose, all that Rick could see of his friend was blue eyes twinkling in anger.

“I feel like my hands are going to freeze off! I can’t believe were being forced to look for fungi for this fucking bio project in the dead of winter!”

“Daryl, one, I can barely hear you behind that monster you call a scarf and two, it’s fall. Winter hasn’t even started.”

“Well fuck me! We southern boys weren’t meant for this kinda weather! Why the fuck did you want to go to school in New Hampshire?! It’s mid-October. It shouldn’t be this cold!”

Rick laughed and walked over to his friend. “You didn’t have to follow me here. You could’ve gone to SCAD or some other school for photography.”

“I couldn’t leave you, you know that. Just imagine the trouble you’d get into without me.”

Rick looked away with a small smile. He’s glad Daryl decided to follow him to New Hampshire for school. He couldn’t imagine being anywhere without Daryl. They’ve been friends since elementary school when Daryl stood up against the class bully for Rick.

“I’ll tell you what. When we’re done here I’ll buy you some hot chocolate and we’ll build a blanket fort in our dorm and watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”

Daryl pretended to consider this for a moment. “Deal.”

They began walking down the forest path, keeping an eye out for any fungi that might cross their path. Daryl occasionally stopped to take pictures of things that interested him, like a creek choking on the fall leaves or the occasional bird on a naked branch backlit by the sun peeking though what remains on the trees. Mostly though he was sneaking photos of Rick exploring the forest. Daryl thought there was nothing more beautiful that the pure, simple enjoyment Rick experiences when he finds something interesting.

They stopped for a break in a clearing where they found some large stones to sit upon. 

“So have you decided how you’re going to answer Lori?” Daryl asked Rick, who was digging patterns into the dirt with a stick.

“I don’t know man. I’ve never had a girlfriend before so maybe I should say yes.” 

“Do you like her?”

“Well, she’s pretty and nice. But all she talks about is sorority stuff and we haven’t really talked outside of the frat parties Shane dragged me to.” Rick would much rather date someone like Daryl. They had a connection he hadn’t felt with anyone else. Like they were two sides of the same coin. They were platonic soulmates. Now he wanted to find his romantic soulmate. Rick didn’t think it was Lori.

“Well dude, if you don’t like her like that, you shouldn’t date her. You’ll just hurt her feelings and put yourself in a position where you won’t be able to look for someone you do like.”

“You’re right.” Daryl’s heart felt a little lighter after those words slipped from Rick’s mouth.

They fell into a comfortable silence. Daryl watched the clouds roll by.

“What about you? Any girls ask you out?”

“Dude, you would have known if anyone did. I would have told you.” Daryl rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know. Maybe you were keeping it a secret.” Rick teased.

“I don’t keep secrets from you, Rick.” Daryl’s stomach churned at the lie. 

“I know you don’t.” Rick said with a smile, “You’re my brother. We don’t hide things.”

Daryl felt his insides being torn apart, his thoughts were a jumbled mess of truth and lies. How long could he keep this from Rick?

Rick jumped off the boulders and started heading towards the woods. “Come on we need three more pictures of fungi and then we can get home.” Daryl stood up slowly and followed him. 

Daryl and Rick spent another hour or so exploring the forest. Daryl was consumed with guilt while Rick was as carefree as ever. Rick noticed Daryl was quiet, somewhere else in his thoughts. He waited, knowing Daryl would talk to him when he was ready.

Daryl had just taken another picture of Rick when he made a decision. He had captured a moment with Rick bent forward over a log to look at the rotting inside. The wind was playing with his hair and the setting sun haloed him in a golden red light so that all he could see was Rick’s silhouette. He looked like a magical creature of the forest, like Puck ready to cause mischief.

Rick heard a muffled noise come from Daryl and looked up at him from the log. “Did you say something?”

“Nah man. The sun is setting though. We should head home and get that hot chocolate you promised me. I don’t think I can feel any part of my body.”

They began walking back through the forest, shoulders brushing, taking in the ballet. Daryl looked to Rick and Rick looked back and smiled. Daryl promised himself someday soon he’ll get the courage to say those three words to his friend so that he could hear them instead of muffled into a scarf.


	4. Facing the Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: When we lay together on the fresh spring grass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been awhile. School's picking up and I had my first round of tests to grade (150 pre-calc students who've all managed to forget highschool algebra :'( ). Plus I'm working on my first multi-chapter plotty fic! So be looking for that in the future! 
> 
> As for this fic, I think I have one more plot idea that could be 1/2 chapters, but since it's set in canon I want to rewatch a few scenes before writing it.
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy the conclusion of the clearing arc :)

Rick soaked in the sun, warming his face and grounded himself in the bed of the grass he was laying on. It was still a little cool during this mid-April day, but Rick was comfortable where he was and nothing could move him from his spot.

“Hey, Rick.” Except for Daryl. Rick sat up at watched his friend approach. They’ve come back to this clearing many times since they found it in the fall during their biology project, to hang out, de-stress, and get away from the struggle bus which is college.

“Hey Daryl.” Daryl joined Rick on the ground and they both laid back and enjoyed the silence of nature for a few moments. “Have you filled out the room request for next year yet? I think if we turn it in early enough we can get into Brown Hall. We won’t have to worry about crappy suite-mates again!” Silence followed his question. Rick turned his head and saw a troubled look creep onto his friends face. Daryl took a deep breath and sat up; suddenly the carefree mood that was saturating the clearing turned serious causing Rick to sit up as well. 

“I’ve been meanin’ to talk to ya about being room-mates again next year.”

Rick could feel the frown forming on his face, “Are you telling me you want to live with Paul next year?” Rick felt something heavy in his gut, it’s something that’s been forming since Daryl started hanging out with Paul at the beginning of Spring semester. Rick’s been doing his best to ignore it, but in times like these it was hard to.

“No, I mean, I might live with Paul after this conversation. He’s the one who’s kinda pushed me to talk to ya.”

“What do you want to tell me Daryl?” Rick was trying to be patient, but something was crawling under his skin as he tried to think of what Daryl could say that would make him not want to live with him.

“So you know how I’ve been hangin’ out with Paul a lot lately?”

“Yea.” Daryl winced at the clipped tone Rick used. Rick took a deep breath. “Yea, I know you guys are good friends now.” Rick changed his mind. He didn’t want to continue any conversation that reminded him that he was losing Daryl. He’d hardly seen Daryl outside of the time they spent in the clearing. Their schedules didn’t match up for meals and Daryl’s been hanging out in Paul’s dorm late most nights. Never even bothered to invite Rick whenever they hung out. Not that Rick cared. He had plenty of things to keep him busy, he didn’t always need to hang out with Daryl.

“Yea, well, you see, after winter break I joined a club and that’s where I met Paul and it’s what I need to talk to you about.” Daryl was shifting his weight hip to hip and rubbing his left arms avoiding Rick’s gaze.

“You joined a club without me? Without telling me?” Rick was finding it hard to stay composed. He thought he and Daryl were best friends so why is this happening?

“Man, that’s not what’s important! I’m gay! That’s what I wanted to talk to you about!” Daryl’s face was flushed, with anger or embarrassment Rick didn’t know. At this point Rick’s brain shut down for one second before it was overflowing with thoughts and questions with one thought crushing them all.

Rick’s jaw was clenched and his hands were in fists, he couldn’t look at Daryl as he asked, “So you’re dating Paul? That’s why you don’t want to live with me next year?”

“Why are you so hung up on Paul?! I just fucking told you I was gay and that’s all you have to say?” Daryl’s voice was desperate by the end. He had grabbed at Rick’s wrist forcing Rick to look at him.

“Because he’s been taking up all your time.” Rick admitted, feeling his face heating, “And I don’t care if you’re gay.”

“You don’t care that you’re living with a gay dude? And what the hell are you talking about? He doesn’t take up all my time.”

Rick stood up and walked a few feet away. He couldn’t believe what Daryl was telling him. Did he not feel the distance growing between them? Did he not feel the loneliness Rick was feeling from missing his best friend?

“Rick?” Daryl’s voice was hesitant, as if he didn’t want to break the silence Rick’s frustration has grown.

Rick pulled himself together and turned around saying as calmly as he could, “No, I don’t care about living with a gay dude, because, man, I’m bi. Do you care if you’re living with a bi dude? And what the fuck Daryl?” Rick’s voice was climbing in anger. “I hardly see you anymore! I wake up, you’re gone, I go to sleep, you’re still not home, I ask you to hang out and you’re all Paul this Paul that! Fuck you for saying he doesn’t take up your time! Just fuck you!” Rick stormed off through the forest. The green canopy overhead was doing nothing to cool his temper, but he hoped by the time he got back to campus he’d be calm enough to just sit and think this through a bit. He just needed some time to think.

“Rick hold up! Fuck, Rick wait!” Daryl called behind him, but Rick couldn’t stop, he could feel tears welling in his eyes from anger and he didn’t want to say anything that would ruin this friendship anymore. Suddenly he was tackled to the ground from behind. Daryl was sitting on him holding his wrists down to keep him from fighting free. “I told you to hold the fuck up.”

“Let me go Daryl! We can talk about this shit later. Just let me go.” Rick pleaded. 

“No, not until we clear up whatever the fuck that was. What do you mean you’re bi?”

“It means I like girls and guys.” Rick told the dirt beneath his cheek. “Can I get up now?”

“You gonna run away?”

“No.” Daryl slowly got of Rick, wary that he would bolt again. Rick got up and brushed the dirt from his shirt and jeans. “Do you want to finish this in the clearing?” If he was going to talk about this, he’d rather do it in a place that held so many sweet, happy, memories that would hopefully cover this one up.

The walked back to the clearing in silence. Each were sneaking glances at the other, both wondering when they got so out of sync. They both laid back on the ground in awkward silence.

“Going back to before, I know what being bi is asshole. What I meant was, what do you mean that _you_ are bi? Since when?’ Daryl said to the sky. It was easier this way, talking to the sky instead of each other.

“I guess I’ve always been, but I didn’t really realize it until the end of winter break, early spring semester.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Rick scoffed. “What, like how you told me you were gay? And besides you were always with Paul. I never had a chance to tell you.” Rick’s gut felt like it’s been on a roller coaster since Daryl came out and Rick was ready to get off the ride.

“Man it’s different. That’s why I’ve been hanging out with Paul. He’s part of the PRIDE Alliance and was helping me work through all this shit. That’s it. He’s like my gay mentor or something.”

“Oh, ” Rick’s heart was feeling lighter, but his pulse was racing. “I guess before we move in together I have something to admit to you, in case you don’t want to live with me again.”

Daryl snorted. “You already came out man and I think we’re both okay with that. What could you be hiding bigger than that?” Daryl had turned to give him a soft smile and Rick soaked that in like the sun hoping it will still be there after he admits what’s been sitting on his heart since winter break.

He maintained eye contact because this was too important to not see Daryl’s reaction. “Remember how we went skating with people before we left for winter break? And you were helping that kid because his mom was afraid of skating?” Daryl gave him a nod confusion on his face.

“Did you meet a guy there? Do you have a secret boyfriend?” Daryl sat up, eyes wide.

“No man! You were the one keeping a secret boyfriend! Let me finish!” Daryl laid back down mumbling “He ain’t my boyfriend” under his breath. When Daryl settled back down next to him, Rick continued, “ You were skating backwards to pull him forwards and you ran into someone and fell over before I could warn you, but instead of being embarrassed or angry, you laughed. And I thought it was the most beautiful laugh and I thought how you were so beautiful in your own way. And I realized that I hadn’t been looking for anyone for a long time, because I already had you and you’re amazing. Why would I want someone else?” 

“What are you trying to tell me Rick?” Daryl’s eyes were clouded with something Rick couldn’t quite decipher. 

“I’m telling you that I think we’re soulmates. I’m telling you I love you.” Rick was frozen waiting for Daryl’s reaction. For him to tell him thanks, but no thanks. To tell him they couldn’t live together anymore. To tell him they could be just friends, but really they wouldn’t be friends anymore. What he didn’t expect was to be jerked towards Daryl to share a kiss that was so desperate he felt light headed.

“You asshole.” Rick was still dazed, but he knew that wasn’t something you call the guy you just kissed with such passion. “You said it before I could work up the courage. I was gonna tell you today. Thought it would be symbolic because this is the place I couldn’t say it before.”

“What do you mean before? Wait you love me too?” Rick’s brain was slowly coming back online as he held Daryl in his arms. 

“Yea you dweeb, I love you. And I tried telling you during the stupid bio project, but you didn’t hear me because of my scarf and I couldn’t say it again. Too scared. But Paul has been encouraging me to tell you, said he had a feeling you’d be fine with. That asshole must’a’ve known.”

“I guess I’m okay with you spending so much time with him if he was trying to get your stubborn ass to confess to me.” Rick smiled, heart light for the first time since winter break.

“Oh my god, you were jealous! That’s why you were such a prick to him!”

“Shut up! I just realized I had more feelings for you than I thought and you left me for another guy! Of course I was jealous.” Rick huffed, but he didn’t mind the teasing if he could hear Daryl laughing like this.

“I love you, Rick. No one else.”

“And I love you, and no one else.”

There they laid in their clearing, in each others arms, soaking up the warmth from the sun and their young love.


	5. The Fire Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: a whisper in the ear/over and over again, till it’s nothing but a senseless babble

Rick stared at the ground, gaze unfocused. His knees ached, his right shoulder twinged occasionally, and the blood from the wound on his nose and cheek flowed like sticky molasses down the side of his face. But Rick noticed none of this. His ears were ringing as he tried to comprehend what was happening. How did their mission turn so wrong? The sound of Abraham and Glenn’ s heads caving under Lucille echoed in Rick’s mind over and over like some sick soundtrack to his failure to keep his people safe. The boy who saved him, the boy who grew into a man and fell in love at the end of the world, the man who was starting a family of his own and was so ecstatic about it. How could he be gone? Just like that? For what? Rick’s own stupid mistakes? The anger that took over when he slaughtered the walkers on Negan’ s twisted fieldtrip had flushed out of his system when he almost hacked off Carl’s hand, _his own son_. Everything added up leaving him drained and exhausted. What else could happen that hasn’t already left him feeling numb? 

Rick was shocked back to the present as he heard struggling. Daryl. They were taking _Daryl_. He watched as Daryl fought the hold of the men dragging him away. As they passed Rick, Daryl had escaped their grasp and landed on his knees right against Rick. Rick felt Daryl’s long locks tickle his cheek and his breath against his ear as he whispered quickly. It was less than a second before the henchman were dragging Daryl away and throwing him into the back of a van. This sick man claiming Daryl as his, threatening to chop him up or worse, have Rick chop him up. Rick didn’t think his heart could feel heavier or his guilt any worse, but here it was.

Rick hardly spoke as they made their way back to Alexandria. Time seemed to pass in a haze of motions and sounds. He broke from the haze and found himself in bed with his children curled up on either side of him deeply asleep. He listened to the sound of their breaths. They were alive. His children were alive and physically unharmed and Rick felt the dying ember in the pit of his stomach catch fire, burning with his promise to make sure it stayed that way. 

His eyes grew heavy as he was lulled by the sounds of his children safe in his arms. It was then, at the brink of unconsciousness, that Daryl hurried words from earlier were finally processed by Rick’s traumatized brain.

_I love you_

They were said in Daryl’s rough voice, solid in his conviction.

Rick gave a soft gasp as his eyes flew open. He checked to make sure he didn’t disturb the children and noticed their figures blurring. A tear trickled down his cheek and his body shook as silent sobs wracked his body. _Goddamn it._ He closed his eyes and allowed himself to wallow in the loss and pain of the day as he continued to sob into the night.  
\--

It was less than a week before Rick saw Daryl again. Negan had joined his men to take their supplies and brought Daryl along with him. He was dressed in dirty sweats and Rick noticed they hung looser than he thought they should causing him to frown. His brows furrowed as he took in the too sharp cheek bones and the dark, heavy bags under the other man’s eyes. What really cause Rick concern was Daryl’s eyes. The sharp blue eyes he loved were dull and unfocused. This hollow man in front of him was Daryl, _his_ Daryl. Daryl must be locked away in there. Somewhere safe, where whatever hell Negan’s putting him through won’t touch him. And when Rick saves him, his Daryl will come back. At least, that’s what Rick hoped.

Daryl wouldn’t make eye contact with him after his first hesitant look and Rick’s heart broke. He wanted to go over there and pull the man into his arms. Wanted to tell him he loved him back. Wanted to tell him how he’d been too thick-headed to realize earlier. But he couldn’t. He would wait until Daryl was back, safe with him, before he would tell him.

“Daryl, hey-” He wanted to ask Daryl, what? If he was being treated right? If he was okay? But before he could even get a question out Negan stopped him.

“No, nope. You don’t look at him, you don’t talk to him, and I won’t make you chop anything off of him.”

Rick clenched his fists, unable to do anything else. 

All too soon Negan’s men were done raiding their supplies. Rick handed over the last of their guns. “Now that you know we can follow your rules, can Daryl stay?”

“Not happening.” Negan paused, considering. “Maybe Daryl can plead his case. Maybe Daryl can sway me.” Negan turned to Daryl. “Daryl?”

Rick watched as Daryl just stared at the ground and said nothing. Negan turned back to Rick. “Well you tried.”

They loaded Daryl into the back of the truck and drove away with their plunder. Rick watched as Daryl, who was finally looking at him, was taken away, again. The fire in his pit telling him to protect grew hotter.

\--

Rick was flying high. He was done submitting to Negan, enough was enough and they were going to fight back! The fire in him was a burning inferno with the turn of events. He lead his small group through the gates of the hilltop and walked up to Maggie hugging her.

“You were right, from the start. You told us to get ready fight. I didn’t listen, I couldn’t. I can now.” 

Movement behind Maggie caught his eye. He looked and his breath caught in his throat. Daryl was there, looking unsure. Gone were the sweats, replaced with a black button and ripped jeans. Daryl gave him a small nod and that spurned Rick into action. He took long strides over to Daryl and pulled the man into his arms. It took a second, but Daryl returned the hug, squeezing them together.

“I love you, Daryl.” Rick whispered into his ear. Tears were flowing and Rick could feel Daryl’s body shaking and pulled him in tighter. “I love you, I love you, I love you,...” Rick repeated over and over until his throat was sore and the words meaningless except for the feeling behind them. He didn’t know how long they stood there in each others arms, but Rick didn’t care who was watching. He wasn’t letting this man go, nothing and no one will take Daryl from him again. The fire within roared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on tumblr at bugontherug or check out my new side-blog bugontherug-fics for fic recs, fan art, writing prompts, etc (its a WIP so more recs are coming)


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